Reply to How can I make sure my two toxic cousins don't wreck my mom's funeral?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As others have said, don't invite them.

You can also choose to look at this differently.  It sounds to me like 85% of the funeral was wonderful, with warm reminiscences and sharing and caring.  If two strange stories were told by relatives who were obviously a little cuckoo (and wracked by grief, which makes people unhinged)...is that really wrecking the funeral?  Try to reframe this a bit and think about the funeral as a success with a slightly bizarre incident.  Such things happen.  You can't control everything.[/quote]

Yeah I do think some of this is in your control, OP. You have to consciously not let yourself and others obsess over the power/potential these two have. By obsessing like this and letting their actions change the event for you, you are letting them have an influence over your life and giving them the power to ruin your mother's funeral and other family events. This is not easy. I know because I've dealt with this crap too, but after the initial vent you need to move on and not let them become a constant topic of conversation. You are giving them more importance than they deserve.

Also, I'm not sure about "not inviting" them. Some people like this can react badly.[/quote]

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