Reply to Should I marry my poor boyfriend?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bigger questions: is he responsible with the money he does have, is he responsible and diligent in his work and personal life, and is he generous and fair?  
Much more important IMHO.[/quote]

OP here. He is extremely responsible and good with his money but he is also exceptionally generous and makes sure I am want for nothing even with our current salary. If I want something, he makes sure I get it.

He is a perfect partner. I just get worried about the cost of living in this area and realize that everyone with 2 kids has like over 200k salary. We barely make a 100k now and neither of us is in banking or law or medicine.

I just don't want to be 35 and stressing about money with 2 kids and a house.[/quote]

NP here.  The question now becomes how are you guys at comproming and reaching agreements and how much are you on the same page naturally in regards to finances?  I don't think you suddenly wake up at 35 stressing about money with two kids and a house.  It ends up being a series of decisions made or not made that gets you to that point.  Like not looking/going for a job to make more money balancing the tradeoffs in risk/flexibility /impact to home life/career growth, or insisting you move to a house when you have the first child when maybe continuing to rent is the better financial choice, or buying at the height of the market just to have something and being underwater, or someone decides to take a chance on not having health insurance to save money and that's the month a catastrophic event happens.  Every job change, where to live, when to have kids, where kids go to school, and major purchases becomes a joint decision where the other person should not be bullied into agreement or given a defacto decision yet each person has to speak up.  Once you agree if stuff goes south, it is our decision and our ability to adjust and move forward not "well I didn't really want to do that or you pushed me to do this and see how it turned out".

You can definitely live in this area making $100K combined with kids but there will be tradeoffs.  It's your ability to agree on the tradeoffs, how you get there and how you both handle when things don't go to plan that determines if money issues tear you apart or not.  
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