Reply to What Should a Private School Do Stop Bullying?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There's no reason to name names because every private school in the area does this. If your school is going through a capital campaign and the kid of a big donor happens to be bullying your child that year, don't even bother complaining because nothing will be done unless of course, you have the financial means to make an even larger donation than the bully's family then go right ahead. Otherwise, you'll just be wasting your time.

The only way you will get traction when it comes to complaining to the administrators and teachers is if they think that you have financial resources that will benefit the school in the long run. There are people at my child's school who are completely over leveraged and live well beyond their means just to impress other people and those families are always treated with a certain level of respect because the teacher's are always under the impression that those parents are large donors or have the potential to donate more money to the school.

The fact of the matter is that at any private school, the children whose parents donate a lot of money (and this is all relative because for some small schools a $10-15k donation is a lot of money and for some of the larger schools, a $100k+ gift is considered to be significant) or the children of parents whom the teachers think have a lot of money will always be treated better. You can't avoid the situation, this is a problem that exists at every school.

Most school's have a director of development and depending how skilled they are at their job, they will try to chat you up at different school functions in order to guess how much money you could potentially donate to the school and some will do research on families as well if they think that the family has a potential to make a significant gift to the school. If the development director picks up on the fact that a particular family spends a portion of winter break in Gustavia and goes skiing in Klosters and summers on Sconset then their child is going to be able to get away with pretty much whatever they damn well please because the school is going to actively court that the family for a large gift. And discussing that Dillinger or Larla has a behavioral problem and is a bit of a bully, is not going go down well with a family that's going to make a significant donation. Hence, why these children get away with terrorizing the other children.

A lot of these bullies are insecure and have parents who don't pay that much attention to them or their home life is a mess so if you're able to teach your kid this and teach them not to hit back but to respond back with their words (which in some cases hurt more than fists) usually they can get the bully to back off. I was bullied as a child and never hit anyone back but I learned to have an extremely sharp tongue and made many a bully cry. Once you break down the bully, they will leave you alone. And by teaching your child to stand up for himself with his words and not his fists, you're not turning your child into the bully, you're just teaching your child to defend themselves.

Don't expect the school to do anything when it comes to bullying unless your family has more financial resources than the bully. [/quote]

+1. We left a Catholic school for this reason. [/quote]

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