Reply to SAHM wanting to work - would you "pay" to work?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Think of the cost of childcare as coming out of DHs salary, not yours. He is subsidizing your re-entry into the workforce.[/quote]

Nonsense.[/quote]

+1
PP clearly has no sense of "marriage as a team".   :roll: [/quote]

Please explain why a woman who gives up her earnings potential for years (even into the hundreds of thousands of $$$) to support her husband is considered to be a team player, but thinking about childcare costs (which, generously come out to about $25K/year for a very limited number of years) as a contribution from the man means that there is no sense of marriage as a team?!? What is your logic here? Why wouldn't a couple want to allow a woman who is well-educated and has work experience to use her talents in the workforce?

[/quote]

Simmer down.  You've completely missed the point of the comments.  Of course the woman should return to work if she wants to.  But to say the husband is "subsidizing" her re-entry into the workforce is ludicrous.  In healthy marriages, one partner doesn't consider the other one to be "subsidizing" anything, whether that's staying at home, or paying for childcare.  Comments like that remind me of morons who insist the husband is "subsidizing" a wife when she stays home to care for the kids (or vice-versa).  [b]It's simply the family's money, not "his" and "hers".[/b]  [/quote]

That is a very naive way of thinking about finances. All too often, women default into thinking that their salaries ought to cover the cost of childcare, which is why drop out of the workforce. No--if dads work, then they need to have childcare, too. The cost of childcare should be considered a shared family cost--not one that is covered solely by the mother.

[/quote]

You just repeated exactly what I was saying, so I have no idea why you called my line of thinking "naive".  The cost of chilldcare - or any family costs, for that matter - are shared expenses, period.  In a healthy marriage, no one considers one spouse "subsidizing" another.[/quote]
 So it makes no sense for the mom to give up her career. 
[/quote]

If a marriage works as a team, then it makes sense for both partners to pull together and do whatever is needed to make the family run as smoothly as possible.  In some families, two FT working parents is what's needed, while other families function better with a FT parent at home.  In healthy marriages, no one is "subsidizing" anyone, as each partner has an important role to play.[/quote]

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