Reply to S/O I was the OW and I told the wife

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I know you are looking for closure on this, OP, and are tempted to contact her.

Before you do, ask yourself what purpose will it serve. You need to protect yourself if this woman is on the warpath and doesn't care who she hurts as long as her husband goes down. I am less concerned with physical vengeance as with public outing. Don't give out your address or full name or place of work. You will be able to see exactly where this is going in the first few minutes of your conversation, if you decide to take her up on the offer.

[/quote]

Op here. You know what, you are right. I think that I had no closure on some level. It was such a disorienting experience and I did not tell anyone because I was just too humiliated. I hate that this is all coming up again and bringing up those feelings. I feel guilty all over again as if I was complicit in her husband betraying her, but I had no idea. [/quote]

I'm the pp who was in a similar situation. A year relationship and you didn't tell anyone???? wow. I told family, friends, strangers, clergy, I had therapy, and my relationship was shorter than a year.  :)

I would really advise at least a few sessions of therapy about this. You were pretty young still.  It's affecting your relationships and the way you see men, I'll bet. It is going to be hard to really move on if your policy is just to not think about it. [/quote]

Op here. I told people that we broke up and that it was unpleasant, but I did not give details. I think people I figured it was too hurtful to talk about, which it was. I was just very taken aback and didn't even know up from down. I couldn't explain it to other people and over time, I just put it behind me.[/quote]

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