Reply to Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Do you tell the wife that her wonderful husband cheated on her for two years?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]To those who say MYOB, if you were the aggrieved wife would you want to know the facts or just remain blissfully ignorant?

I would want to know the facts.[/quote]

I would want to remain ignorant - depending on who was informing me. Truthfully, I would likely already KNOW something was amiss.  But if it was a friend or a relative who I know sincerely cares about me AND will be there to help me pick up the pieces - they can tell me.  A "friend" who has no sincere care about the aftermath and just "thinks I should know" can MYOFB! [/quote]

Remaining ignorant is dangerous though.  It's unlikely that this will be the last mistress.  At least the wife can know something is going on with her husband and seek out counseling to fix the marriage.  Also, with remaining ignorant their is a real risk to being blind sided with being left for a side piece. [/quote]

I hear you...but my point is that I would not want to find out from the nosy busybody who is just trying to start crap.  Here is the rub.  If my best friend or sister sees somethng and decides to tell me, they KNOW the level of chaos and upheaval that my life will become and by telling me, they are implicity committing to being there for me as I work through it.  They are vested too.  The casual friend is just going to drop a bomb and go on with her life after she blows mine up.   [/quote]

So if the ramifications of the disclosure cause upheaval and the person revealing the information is not in a position to offer support, you would rather not know about it. I feel differently: I don't like being deceived and I'd want to know and deal with the consequences as opposed to just living a lie.[/quote]

To each her own. The info is what is important to you.  I cannot knock that.  Would be simpler if I were like that. My problem is that I look at motivation and that is why I say WHO is telling is important.  Is it that "friend" who gossips behind my back or the one whose marriage is a mess but wants to rat out mine?   But the way I am wired is that I would likely already KNOW something was amiss.  I mean if my DH had another residence somwhere that I was not aware of, that would make me pretty clueless. I am not that clueless.

People say that the wife has the right to know - and I agree that is true.  What's murkier is whether we have the right to tell her. I mean, we all tell ourselves that we would be doing a good deed...but I am not so sure.  True story from my hometown.  My parents' neighbor knew his buddy's wife was cheating.  He told the DH and the DH killed his wife and attempted to kill the other guy.  To this day, he tells my parents that he regrets that he said something because no good came from it. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics