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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks PPs, OP here. I was sort of kidding about the hit man thing ;). The thing is she is kinda of mean old lady. She's always been that way. But she is my only living grandmother and she does care for me and has done a lot for me and I do love her and wish to have some kind of relationship with her. I do try to be polite and not bring up hot button issues but the mom comments come from out of the blue and it's the one thing that really bothers me. I've mentioned to her respectfully but she just doesn't get it. Her response is always "But it's true!!!" which doesn't help any. My mother has been gone ten years, she wasn't perfect but I miss her very very much to this day.[/quote]

I would end any conversation with her (nicely), when she does it.  Sorry, Nana, but I get too upset when you talk about my mom like that.  Then hang up, or leave, or whatever.  I wouldn't argue.  I would try not to get mad.  But I would make sure that she knew it was not OK - if for no other reason - to show respect for my mom.

Sometimes old people just lose their filtering system.  You can be nice and still be firm.  [/quote]

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