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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP - you say the older one only has SN issues that you can handle.  But I guarantee you, the child will have some sort of attachment issues. Read up on attachment before you take any further steps in the process.

Signed, 
Someone who's been dealing with this for 3 years and probably would have lost my mind without a supportive spouse[/quote]

I have.[b] It's hard to say what degree of attachment or attachment issues any adopted child will have. I've read about attachment theory and ways to help fix attachment issues. I also looked up attachment therapists in my area[/b].

I think the stereotype that all older adopted children will have RAD is inaccurate and tends to make people fear adopting older children. [/quote]

This is correct but you need to go into it assuming your child will have an attachment issue.  You also need to understand that with older children you are not going to "fix" attachment issues.  You are going to work on developing attachment over the course of years and the effects of not having an early attachment can linger with the child for years .  It's a slow process with older children and all consuming at times.

So on top of dealing with the special needs - which once home you may find was or was not correctly described - you also need to deal with attachment.

If you adopt two at once, one child gets shafted in the process.

[/quote]

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