Reply to No one to sit with on the bus

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. My daughter has experienced a lot of difficulties in her past. We changed schools because she was bullied. Picked on repeatedly, threatened, and kicked. She is a sweet kid, just not very socially aware, which we are working on but will always be a struggle for her. She was so excited to go to this new school and start new but so far she has had a hard time making new friends. She is the first child on the bus as we are at the end of the line and she dreads all these kids coming in and not sitting next to her - several squeezing in with others to avoid her. She is not antagonized, but it still hurts when everyone walks right by a perfectly good empty seat and no one wants to sit with her. She has "friends" at school, none ride her bus.

I know this experience builds character, but she is only 8 and has been through so much already. I had suggested she read on the bus but she gets distracted with all the fun and laughter going on around her.

All I wanted was some tips on how to break the ice and have this year be less stressful for her.[/quote]

Sorry, but children dont need to be occupied with friends 24/7. She needs to learn to be independent[/quote]

PP- did you read the part where OP's DD was bullied at her last school?? It's understandable that OP would want to support and help her more right now. The bus ride is a social opportunity for many kids- it can feel like a very big deal if no one wants to sit next to you. [/quote]

Yes, but we shouldn't be trying to "solve" the discomfort by making it out to be a huge problem. Talk to dd about how it's OK not to have a person to sit with on the bus, help dd be all right with being on her own (she's not being bullied or teased right? just sitting alone).

We can't rush in every time our parent hearts ache a little for our children. [/quote]

NP, PP you seem to think OP is over-reacting.  I think your "We can't rush in every time our parent hearts ache a little for our children" is sadly under-reacting.  The main problem the most troubled kids have are parents who don't rush in at all, who don't take their kids hurts - big or small - seriously or even notice.  And your judgmental tone does smack a bit of meangirl-ness.

OP it's lovely that you notice, that you're listening, that you're concerned.  I happen to agree with everyone who said it's an opportunity to - instead of getting your DD a new bus friend - to help her be ok with not having someone.  To ask her what she likes to do most on the bus, read? Notice or listen to other kids (without getting upset that she's not included)? Stare out window at streets?  What does she want to focus on?  Help her to see it's ok to just be on her own, and she shouldn't feel sad or mad about it.  It is how it is, and she'll find (or already has found?) good friends at school and that's what she should focus on.

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Op can be concerned but at the same time not rush in. Her child is not being bullied. Her child may be lonely, and by itself that is not a problem that needs solving.[/quote]

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