Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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Reply to "S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think OP is perfectly reasonable. I would feel exactly the same in her position. Just because people are family does not mean you have to sacrifice your life to help them when all their lives they have done nothing but the bare minimum to help. If they need a few thousand dollars for an operation or some such then yes, you have an obligation. But to have them live with you, potentially for decades, because they have failed to provide for themselves when they had every opportunity? No way.
Even if this woman does not want to provide childcare, her own kids have been out of the house for how long? 20 years? She could easily get a job herself in retail or whatever. It isn't like CVS appears to be particularly picky. But she is lazy. What goes around comes around.[/quote]

So why doesn't the husband talk to his parents about making a reasonable retirement plan? Everyone I know has either helped their parents make a plan or are aware of their parents assets and plans. And that includes a few parents who have made extremely bad choices. I can't imagine walking away from my parents just because they made mistakes. You all sound like awful people.[/quote]

Well aren't you making an ass out of yourself by assuming we haven't tried to help? We sat them down repeatedly to ask them to make a real plan for retirement. We offered to pay for a financial planner if they weren't comfortable going over financials with us. In response, FIL told us it was none of our business how they spend their money and MIL accused me of wanting them to save so that I could lay claim to the money when they die, lol. DH has continued to try to talk to them, but I will never again raise the topic with them. MIL is only now starting to worry about retirement now that their friends are starting to develop health problems or retire with nice nest eggs.

-OP

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