Reply to S/O Elder care for parents who didn't provide child care

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[quote=Anonymous]I don't think OP is a bitch, and I agree with her 100%.

If MIL is able bodied, she should at least OFFER to help with childcare if she wants to be supported in her old age. Life is hard, and the ideal is everyone helping everyone else insofar that they are able. The reward is getting to see your own family succeed, knowing that you are valued, and trusting that you will be helped when you really need it. It only takes one asshole to break that happy chain.

A poster above mentioned "doing the right thing" by taking care of her asshole MIL.

Funny - my mother has a similar attitude, and took care of my chronically selfish and financially irresponsible grandma (my dad's mom) until she died. But I swear she helped put her in an early grave by passive aggressively wearing her down every chance she got. But hey, my mom still got to claim to be a "better person!"

If they banked on SS and FIL working, let them use that. Plenty of people without kids to support them manage with that plan.

When the time comes that they start asking to move in, have 1000 reasons ready why you are not able.

First of all, is the house big enough for them? If not, say you can't afford to move or build out new space.
Tell them that college is incredibly more expensive than it used to be and that you can't afford to help support them because you are putting money away for your own children.
Talk about how your financial advisor warned you about putting x dollars a month away for your own retirement.

There will be no shortage of ways for you to explain that you simply can't accommodate them. You don't have to go head-to-head and say "I'm not helping your lazy selfish ass," it simply won't be necessary.

Good luck OP, I'm sorry some people are pieces of crap.

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