Reply to I am considering becoming estranged from my parents

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[quote=Anonymous]
OP,

I have a similar kind of relationship with my parents, and was persuaded by DH to NOT cut them off, because they really do love me *in their own way*, and helped me financially and sometimes emotionally (and at other times were the cruelest people alive).

Whatever you decide, let go of any expectations you might have. They are NEVER going to change and realize that they were nasty and they are NEVER going to talk about it in a way that be satisfying for you to hear.

This means that you have to accept them for who they are. For me, I can do that by living on a different continent and calling them once a week, but visiting them once a year for two weeks. This way I maintain a connection that is beneficial to my children, but I don't have to bear their mean comments on my weight, my parenting, my housekeeping, my career, etc...

Most important of all, please take a good look at yourself and make sure you don't replicate your parents behavior with your children. It's sad, but children do grow up to imitate their parents. I have had to catch myself from saying exactly the same kind of cutting remarks my mother said to me! 
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