Reply to My bf is perfect on paper: just have a gut feeling it isn't right

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don't understand it. I met my bf 3 years ago and we are 27 years old. He has not proposed yet even though he always says he will. I am always paranoid that he has not because he doesn't want to. He says he really wants to but he needs time to save for the ring. I also only met his parents 1 year after we dated. He would keep me away from his family because I am black and he says his mother is racist. We finally met and she was kind of a drunken mess and asked me awkward questions. Since then, she has tried to be nice and invites me over to their house and has offered to take me dress shopping with his sister for an upcoming wedding of his friend's that I am invited to.

Things seem like they're coming around...I just have this sinking feeling that something's off.

Am I being paranoid?
 :? [/quote]

Do you feel your bf is being evasive about his family?
[/quote]

Hm not exactly. I think what makes me really uncomfortable is his relationship with his mother. Along with her extremely conservative/slightly racist /bigoted views, she's very overbearing with a tight leash on her children. My bf is 27 years old but she still treats him like he is in middle school. And for the most part, my bf is independent; he dates me and is going ahead full throttle despite her hesitations; but overall I sense that he wants to please her badly. Not in all or every thing, but in most things.it makes me feel really uncomfortable and as if he isn't his own person and like a clone of her or something. I want to feel like I'm with my man but sometimes when I'm around him I think of his mother!

She's also very dependent on him and is constantly texting and calling him. Sometimes I feel like he already has a girlfriend in her in a way. So I feel like I'm in competition with her and that I have to prove myself to her instead of proving to him that I'm a good woman. Haha does that make any sense?[/quote]

Does he have any other siblings? Is she like this with her other children.

I have a fairly overbearing mother, but I beyond being polite and dealing with her occasional "I need xyz" I don't really take her that seriously. My other siblings moved far away before I was old enough to leave the house and only visit on occasion, so I got stuck with her almost by default.

[/quote]

Yes. He has a sister. Her life is also very controlled, more so because she isn't as assertive or rebellious as her brother.[/quote]

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