Reply to Married with Feelings for a Friend

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will be honest: there are men I have been attracted to since I got married.  I just don't hang out with them or talk to them that much, on purpose.[/quote]

It's just something nice to think about when falling asleep at night. Stings a little, though.[/quote]

And right there, you crossed the line.[/quote]

That's not crossing the line, IMO[/quote]

If OP is spending her time before falling asleep thinking about another man, it's taking away from her intimacy with her husband. That puts her in emotional affair territory. It's one thing to have those thoughts while taking steps to minimize them (i.e., not continuing to spend time with him), but it's entirely different to not just indulge them but to encourage them by continuing to spend time with him and dwell on these thoughts rather than trying to put them out of her head.[/quote]

Disagree. DH and I have sex at least 4x/week (a little much for me, but whatever...). Anyway, I think of other guys. It's what keeps it all alive. Would never cheat on DH. [/quote]

I'm a DH and am the same way.  Some of the hottest sex with DW typically involves memories from a past partner or someone I've seen at the gym I would love to have in my bed.  The act of sex and getting each other off is what keeps it within the marriage.  Don't care if she's thinking about someone else either.  This is an important part of marriage just in the sense that it is a natural function that normal humans need to engage in.  Outside sexy time with an AP is intense (yes I've been there once) and can obviously complicate things even if you're not found out.  I've resolved myself to fantasy and regular sex with my DW.  [/quote]

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