Reply to Divorce etiquette. What happens to former bil?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wanted to clarify the sh*t husband comment. He worked constantly, and was able to give my sister the home and life of her dreams. She didn't have to work and she had a team of nanny's, house keepers, etc. But he didn't really like being married (to her?) Maybe. He spent a lot of time checked out of their marriage, opting to not really give her any personal time, if we had something planned he was all for it.[b] But if she asked for a date night, there was no way it was happening. I think had he been more involved in her, she might still be with him[/b]. But who knows. She also lost weight for the first time in her life and was getting a lot of attention from other men. I think she checked out a long time ago too. I[b] wouldnt want to be married to him but as a friend, he was the best.[/b] And not threatening her personal safety just she's not gonna get any support from him, she's requesting $4200 per month to take care of the kids, and she can't have the new car or the house. [/quote]

He sounds like a sh*t husband and your poor sister had to deal with the fact that even though her family knew he was a sh*t husband they thought "he was the best."  Ugh!  Your poor sister. [/quote]
The OP's sister had an affair with her best friend's husband. She may not be the best object for your sympathy.[/quote]

She shouldn't have had an affair but it sounds like a response to having a sh*t husband for years. Nothing lonelier than a lonely marriage.  She has my sympathy.  [/quote]

They are grown ass adults who made a long series of choices to get to their respectively shitty situations. Neither really needs sympathy, nothing "happened" to either of them. A good friend does not bang her pal's husband no matter how shitty her life, a good husband doesn't not neglect his marriage no matter how important his job. Not that hard. But that doesn't necessarily make either terrible people. I don't get how people can't separate out how someone can be a good friend but not a good spouse? Those people are usually carrying their own relationship baggage into evaluating people.

So they made a mess of it together and need to figure out how to go forward and not live a messy drama their whole lives.

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