Reply to Trying to understand MIL/FIL paying for everything for 26 y/o SIL

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[quote=Anonymous]It might be due to asking vs not asking.  Also, I'm an only child too and am also somewhat perplexed by the sibling favorite dynamic. So I totally get your curiosity.

The same situation plays out in DHs family. SIL asks constantly for money (even though her husband makes $200k+).  She always frames it as "it's for the kids."  Private school for 3 kids, vacations, boat,, a down payment etc. she always claims how poor she is - but their income is much more than ours AND they live in a much lower cost of living state.

My DH and I ask for nothing. We both work hard. Live modestly and pay our bills.  DH has 6 figures of student loans which I attribute partially to his parents pushing him to get a grad degree in a field that he hates. The only time DH drew a line was when I had a serious medical condition and we were faced with very expensive medical treatment barely covered by insurance. in laws offered to help but SIL got upset because she "needed a boat...for the kids" and expected her parents to pick up the bill. We ended up getting a small amount but paid the rest ourselves, proudly.  My inlaws are now paying less for her shenanigans. Sometimes you need to put stuff in perspective.

If DH is concerned he should say something to his parents. They may not fully realize the enablement.  Also, he can say that it is causing tension in the relationship. I would assume most parents don't want to see  their adult children at war over money.[/quote]

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