Reply to Coming to grips with longterm relationship ending... why so hard?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like she just doesn't love you, bro.  She can either try to get married to and have kids with someone she doesnt love or she can just let the relationship wind down to its logical end.

Sounds like she is choosing the latter option. [/quote]

I get it, but what I don't get is her lack of being decisive. She's the most decisive person I've ever met. Yet, for the past 2 years we've been at this sort of stalemate. She's gone from 34 to 36, now almost 37. But tells me how she wants kids. When we first started dating she told me she would never (at her age -- then 33) stay in a relationship that wasn't moving forward for more than 1-2 years. Seems odd for her to go back on that now, no?[/quote]

I think it's hard when you get into a state of stasis.  She might be hoping that you will change, and becoming more of the guy she was at first attracted to you.  Hoping her own feelings change, hoping that that spark of desire and "wow, he's so awesome" will come back.  [b]Hoping that you become more understanding and kind to her[/b].

And she's not ready to fully break things off until she knows for sure.

Affection and fondness, even when it's completely nonsexual, does a hell of a job of complicating the "I will never put up with" statements. [/quote]

Just to play devil's advocate. Can you think of too many guys who would be understanding about sex being off the table for nearly 2 years when health issues, kids, and marriage are not even involved? I mean I'm not looking for biggest martyr of the year award, but clearly you'd think she knows the market of 33 year old men willing to go 2 years without passion is small. My staying with her has to demonstrate some sort of care and love based on that fact alone![/quote]

And so...what exactly? You think she owes you something because of your "market value?"

Also, haven't you posted about this before? Except that time it was a lot less "I love her and want it to work" and more "I'm playing chicken with her to see how long she'll go without breaking up with me because I have more time to waste than she does?" [/quote]

A) Haven't posted before though wouldn't surprise me if this sort of thing happens regularly (lack of passion, biological clocks, age discrepancy)
B) No, I'm not claiming I am valued more on the market. I'm saying that I can't understand why she is okay with the status quo[/quote]

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