Reply to Would you cut ties with friend over her DS's bad behavior?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, your first duty of course is to protect your child from being exposed to this kind of behavior and bullying.

It's clear that your friend has blinders on.  However, we all have faults and flaws.  She may just be having a hard time acknowledging that her child has problems.  We've all been on De Nile at times in our lives.

There is a middle ground between cutting ties and accepting her behavior.  I'm guessing you think these are the only two options, because you're not very good at being assertive.

I'd keep your son apart from hers.  If going out to family dinners is the only way you can get together, make sure they are never alone.

My philosophy is to protect yourself, but try not to judge others.  If your friends' DS does anything horrible to your son despite your attempts to shield him, I'd take your son somewhere quiet and private, calm him down, then tell your friend that you need to leave, because your son is upset about what happened.  Don't use a blaming tone, just state it firmly and matter-of-factly.  If she tries to say that you're making a big deal of out nothing, just repeat yourself and say that you need to leave.  While I wouldn't give up on a longstanding friendship, I would make sure that her son's behavior had consequences for her -- in this case, being deprived of your company.  As with any consequence, you want the focus to be learning, not punishment.[/quote]

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