Reply to Would you cut ties with friend over her DS's bad behavior?

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[quote=Anonymous]I did.  My friend's DS was just 2 weeks younger than my oldest.  My oldest has/had ADHD and developmental delays and was getting OT/ST.  We were very aware of, and sympathetic to, behavior challenges.  But, that kid had issues far beyond my DS and my friend continually excused his behavior and declined to seek professional evaluations (she consulted her church).  At first, I thought it might be me just be overly critical but my mom was visiting when DF and her DS were over.  We witnessed her DS pushing my toddler down and pulling his arm back to punch her with a closed fish.  My DD had just been standing by her stroller doing nothing.  I was nursing my youngest when this happened and I yelled at him when he pulled his arm pack to punch her.  He stopped and his mother gave him a time out.  Now, we used timeout and found it very effective.  Her time out consisted of her sitting with him and him getting up and moving around.  She excused his behavior by saying he didn't have siblings and wasn't used to being around other kids.  WTF?  He was in preschool?!  After that, my mother and I agreed that we couldn't leave him alone with any of the younger kids.  I'm one of 5 (the only girl) and it's not as if my mother is overprotective or hadn't seen it all.  There was something wrong with this kid.

I saw other distrubing behavior from him over the years.  When she finally sought professional assistant, she frequently compared her DS's behavior to my oldest's.  They had similar diagnoses but their behaviors were completely different.  Her unwillingness to acknowledge it, do anything about it and my own exhaustion with my own kids led me to drop her.  Part of it was 'securing my oxygen mask first', part of it was I didn't want any part of her problems.  I miss her as a friend but I don't miss that kid at all.  He's trouble. [/quote]

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