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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My parents divorced when I was very young. My dad, a German national, returned to Germany and remarried. My mom remained here and also remarried. I had a few birthday cards and gifts from my dad in the early years, but contact dwindled to nothing. I learned that he and his new wife had their own children. My relationship with my stepdad was fine - not exactly loving but no real issues. After my mom died a few years ago I felt that my "real" father should at least know the news, and through the powers of the internet managed to establish contact. Correspondence since has been infrequent but polite. He hasn't shown much interest in what I have been doing, nor in his (I think) only grandchildren, but occasionally sent holiday greetings. We agreed that if ever I was in Germany or he in the US we would get together, but I guess we both knew that was unlikely.

That won't happen now because I have had an email from one of his sons (my half-brother) to say that he died.

A tiny part of me is regretful that we didn't manage to meet up but I can't honestly say I feel sad. I do harbor some resentment that he carved out a life with a new family with no regard for his old one. Before my mom remarried she struggled as a single mom with no contribution from my father - though I have no idea whether that was her choice or not.

My question regards my father's estate. Germany has a law of "forced heirship", meaning that even if there is no provision made in a person's will, the state will force an estate to be divided among heirs, principally the spouse and surviving children. So even if my father has not mentioned me in his will, I am legally allowed to make a claim and the state is obliged to honor it. I have no idea yet if my "half-siblings" intend to pre-empt this by making a provision for me,  or indeed if I should make my own claim or even how to do that.

Part of me thinks I should just leave it, as I never knew the guy - and financially DH and I are comfortable, so it's not about the money. 
But part of me thinks that this whole situation was of his choosing, not mine, and I might feel empowered if I managed to grab something from it, if only to put a something into his grandchildren's college funds. 
What are your thoughts on this?

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Take your share. If you don't want it or need it, give it to your (formerly) single mother.  Your dad abandoned her and she stepped up to take care of you on her own.

I say this as a firm believer in "Don't fight. Share fairly." when it comes to estates. I game both of my brothers more than their share of my father's estate because my dad left me some money outside of the state, in an brokerage account that was "payable on death."

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