Reply to How to handle a (hopefully) temporary separation period?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]The OP might want to consider whether her controlling and uptight attitude is contributing to if not actually causing the problem.  We're talking about a SAHD with a lawyer wife who actually has the gall to suggest that she gets to make the decision on where he should live during a separation because she's the breadwinner?  Imagine if she were a guy with a SAHM for a wife; how many people would let him get away with saying such a thing.

My reading between the lines is that we are talking about a guy with an overbearing and demanding lawyer wife who has emasculated him more than a little bit and is driving him to smoke a little weed to get through the day.        [/quote]
I'm reading something similar, like they moved for his job and he was forced into being a SAHD due to the circumstances, now he's self medicating because he's bored/depressed. I've been there. OP has probably never smoked pot and doesn't realize how mild it can be[/quote]

+1 I got some of this too-not so much because OP is freaking out about the pot-it sounds like that has always been a serious issue for her because of her background.  But the whole, what plan will I make for him and I do I have to pay for it if I kick him out, does not sound like a healthy relationship between to adults.[/quote]

If this is how my husband feels, then it is time to end the marriage.  I would never want him to feel like this, But if he does, then we probably shouldn't be together. Yes, I am the one who has traditionally  made decisions on all the details in our life, including the finances, and so if that isn't working for him, I don't know it.

I think my question was misunderstood. I really just don't know where people live when they separate - and what if the separation could be temporary (which takes signing a lease out of the options).

And I totally agree that many people wouldn't be bothered by someone who smokes pot every day. I respect that. But I am me and have had experiences in my life that scarred me. I've never hidden those from my husband. [/quote]

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