Reply to chores--how much does it matter?

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[quote=Anonymous]We don't call them chores.  We call them responsibilities.

My daughter became responsible for certain things as soon as she was old enough to understand what that meant.  We've explained, in age-appropriate ways, that everyone living in a home has a responsibility to keep that home a nice place to live, including cleanliness, good meals, care for living things (pets, plants), and having the house pretty and welcoming for people who visit.  People are responsible for their possessions.  I can't leave my work all over the table so no one can eat there; she can't leave her drawing stuff or homework there for the same reason.  My beloved, kind, slovenly husband either, bless his heart.

Toddler age-- with my help, get the toys back into baskets and shelves between play time and nap or meal.

3-4-- do this a bit more independently, plus help get table ready and cleared, generally just the unbreakable items or moving a jug of milk from counter to table, or from fridge to me.

4-6-- help feed pets.  Water plants.  Wipe table.  Dishwasher-related tasks.  More significant help with meals.  Clean room.  Help get laundry into washer.  Make bed.  Tidy common areas, particularly her own items.

6-8-- all above plus some garden work, leaf blower, fold own clothes, keep her bathroom sink clean / wipe toothpaste out, add items to grocery list as they're used up, put groceries away, more help with food prep and serving, make own breakfast unless it's something special (eggs, French toast, pankakes-- still me), groom dog.

8+ all of the above plus run errands (buy milk or cheese a block away, put Netflix in mailbox), pack own suitcases and camping gear, work with me and husband on bigger weekend home stuff (clean out fridge, etc.), do own laundry, heavier post-cooking cleanup.

Now that middle school is upon us we're looking at additional ways she can contribute to the household.  We'll do this with her participation. I would like it if she does these things more independently.  She always does them when asked, but she almost always takes a gentle reminder to get going (in fairness, so does my husband).

We spend a lot of time on fun activities all together and she gets tons of time with friends, but like us she has to get boring and necessary tasks out of the way first-- like we do. 
 
She actually relishes the big-kid responsibilities.  First time we let her run an errand she talked about it for a week.  She'll be a great roommate by the time she gets to college.

Fortunately we've gotten help in this regard from Quaker camp, where shared responsibility for the kitchen, dining room, dishes, bath houses, etc. are daily reality that they generally turn into a fun game, like everything else they do.

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