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[quote=Anonymous]My mom had this great saying that you could love someone but not be able to live with them.  Basically that love isn't enough of your aren't compatible is the ways that make a successful long term relationship.  There are men that want to make the money and have their wives be a SAHM and they should ideally marry a women that wants to be a SAHM.

I don't think your boyfriend being underemployed is the issue.  It is more that maybe he isn't a risk taker and you are.  For example, I am not a big risk taker so I don't think I would do well with someone that started their own business or was always working at a start-up.  I had a lot of instability in my childhood, with money, divorced parents, moved around a lot etc.  So the guy for me is more a 9-5 er, wants to live in the same house for the duration of our kids childhood, at least supports my efforts in building a community for our kids and family etc.  I would be a terrible fit for someone that wanted to move at the drop of a hat.  If you are determined to try to make it work with this boyfriend, I would suggest some sort of counseling before marriage to make sure you can communicate with each other well (because clearly you think about things differently) and that you are on the same page or can get there on the big things.[/quote]

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