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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is op.  Ok.  I will talk to my family about this.  I truly do not want to see them.

My aunt has long held the position that this is none of my business, and that even if my uncle keeps the money, it doesn't matter, she has a lot of money and gives my mother what she needs, my uncle can keep the money if he wants it that much.  I disagree with the presumption that we should let people walk all over us because they really want to.  DH sort of agrees, in a "why bother making drama, it's old family history stuff" sort of way.  So it will basically be me against everyone.  I don't care, though.  I am done watching my mother getting stepped on and used.[/quote]

[b]Perhaps your aunt subconsciously likes your mom being subservient to her and your uncle.[/b]  She determines how much to give your mother but your mother must justify or "need" it. If your uncle gave your mother the proceeds from the land sale, she would be less dependent on her two siblings. I would be just as furious in your shoes. I wish you peace with whatever you decide. [/quote]

This is op- wow pp you are astute, at least more astute than I have been for most of my life.  My aunt definitely likes to be the saviour/martyr and "help" with money, etc., but it is really all in the service of controlling other people and having them be subservient to her and do what SHE wants, or thinks is right, in the end.  I learned that the hard way, of course.  My mother is mentally ill and demanding but she ultimately follows my aunt in everything.  It's a really ugly dynamic because everyone in our family wants to manipulate everyone else.

I am getting angrier the longer this thread goes on.  Sigh.[/quote]

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