Reply to My parent has gotten sick very fast, other parent in denial, how to pay for nursing home in Virginia

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I will try to keep this as concise as possible.  My father had surgery a month ago and has been on a downward spiral fast in decreasing health, he's been in and out of the hospital and rehab facitilities, and now is back in the hospital and they cannot figure what is wrong with him.  He is in such intense pain he is completely immobile, cannot dress or feed himself, cannot sit up, walk, etc.  Basically he needs 24 hour care which my mother cannot provide (she isn't strong enough to even lift him, etc.). This has all happened so quickly, and my parents both seem to be in denial as to how to care for him. Rehab hospital won't take him, they say he's too sick.  The hospital says they can't do anything for him, so he eventually needs to leave (soon) so the options seem to be 24/7 nursing care at home or nursing home.  They've been quote $8,000 PER MONTH for both.  They cannot afford that. I cannot afford to give them that either.  I don't think they would qualify for Medicaid.  They are located in Virginia.  My father is NOT a vet.  They don't live near DC so I am not sure if them moving in with us is a real option.

Has anyone been in similar situation? How did you approach the financial issues for elder care?  This literally keeps me up at night, and stresses me all day long. I don't know what to do. Any advice is very much appreciated [/quote]

The way this works is they go into nursing care and spend every last dollar they have, depleting all assets, until they are bankrupt. Then they qualify for Medicaid, but may be moved to a facility that accepts it.

it sucks, but it's the way it works. [/quote]

The above is what my grandmotehr had to do when my grandfather had Alzheimers and needed nursing home care many years ago, except that she didn't have to file for bankruptcy.  I hope not to end up in the same situation with my parents, as their financial advisor told them that long term care insurance was not worth the money when I raised the issue many years ago.[/quote]

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