Reply to About to turn 54 and I'm having a wave of sadness and depression

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have a "few masters degrees"???  What does that mean??[/quote]

I have skills and education and I need to get it together to reach my goal of being n business for myself where I earn well.  I'm allowing myself to be robbed by my employer.  [/quote]

You are not a victim. You may be underemployed but that's not your employers fault. If you have the skills to work for yourself then do it. I did it at 49 and it's worked out well. But you can't wallow in self pity or play victim. Make some changes. [/quote]

[b]I don't believe I'm being a victim.[/b]  I said I am allowing this situation to happen.   I have a plan and I am working toward departure.  Need to pass a professional exam which I'm studying for.   No one is doing anything to me that I'm not responsible for. I'm seeing my life.   I don't want it this way.   I  know that eating better will help me feel better.  I used to exercise very strenuously to manage weight but I burnt out.  I find comfort in food that only makes me feel worse.  When I have given up gluten and sugar my outlook improved tremendously.  I've just been unable to sustain it.   One bite and I'm off to the races.  Not sure how to sustain it.  My DC is 8 so I've got a long way to go to empty nest time.  DH told me tonight that I've been negative and hard to live with for the last few years.  He said he's here til the end. I also see him getting fit, after being told he's pré diabetic with high blood presure and cholesterol and I feel I'm going the other way.  That he's a nice looking trim 50 yo and I'm bloated and in extra physical pain because I'm carrying around 190 lbs on a 5 fr 7 frame.   I'm exhausted and in pain daily.   Just needed to share her because there is no where else to share at the moment.  Thanks for your responses and suggestions. I'm praying for the willingness to do what I've got to do.  
I'm at [/quote]

I don't think you are a victim at all.  I understand where you are coming from (older, two SN kids, lost career).  Frankly, you sound depressed (and I mean that in a nice way).  Can you start with a good physical with your internist to discuss these issues and to get on an anti-depressant?  Then start exercise at a slow pace, picking up.  Do one nice thing for yourself each day.  Weight yourself daily (that's the only way that works for me - to keep me on track).  Share with your husband your feelings and start working out with him in a way that you can share.  Call Jill's House to see if you qualify for some time for yourself care.  Keep your sleep on track.  Read the SN forum - there are a lot of supportive people there who share when they are at the end of their ropes.  Best of luck![/quote]

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