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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - she was aware of the performance; i did not call and explicitly invite her or my brothers or anyone else.

she is DH's younger sister, She is super pampered and babied by her whole family - she has a graduate degree, earns good money, lives in a good city in a really nice place. She has lots of disposable income.  yet my MIl calls me to say [b]"why haven;t you found her a nice boy? i don;t know why you don't ask your friends to include her more?[/b]" then i'll group email Mary with a friend of two and introduce them and SIL never. follows. up.

She's just chronically unhappy and very insecure.

and their family dynamic surrounding her is messed up.

i'd LOVE to just point out to DH just ONCE that my brothers bend over backwards to include her in everything and have driven her down before and she has never, ever, even once invited them out, sent flowers, brought a hostess gift, or thanked them in any way at all.[/quote]

I think it's time to let this fight happen. You need to clearly define what is in the realm of your responsibility and what's not.

"Why haven't you found her a nice boy?" 
"because there's match.com and eharmony and I have other responsibilities, like raising my kids."

"why you don't ask your friends to include her more?"
"I'm a little focused on my own life and kids to manage Mary's social life. She's welcome to reach out to them."

Just keep saying no. Over and over again. Don't bring up Mary's lack of social skills because then it'll just seem like you are attacking her. Keep your responses focused on yourself, not on Mary's incompetence as an adult.

[/quote]

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