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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess for me, as a Jewish person, the difference comes down to participating in someone else's holiday vs actually celebrating. Our household, as well as many other Jewish households, don't have a tree because we would consider that as celebrating the holiday of Christmas. However, I'd have zero issue being invited to someone else's house to share in their holiday traditions. However, now you are talking about having the tradition actually occurring in your home. This can be confusing for younger kids.

I'm also a stepmom, so I understand how this is a tricky situation. Your stepdaughter is now part of the household, and she's not Jewish. So, she should be able to have her own traditions. It's not going to be the same as if she were living in a completely Christian house. But perhaps you can discuss with your husband how the holiday can be special and personal for your stepdaughter while still clearly being cultural sharing, rather than celebrating for your kids.

Maybe your husband and his daughter buy the tree and decorate the tree. Maybe on Christmas there is a special meal, she gets gifts, but your whole family gathers while she opens them. Then on Hanukah, the little kids get their gifts and she can participate in the meal and just watch the menorah lighting

Just throwing some stuff out there. But mainly just approaching this as sharing each other's traditions.[/quote]

I agree with almost all this post. The only part I would not be comfortable with is a large tree in the house. To me, that is celebrating the holiday. However, if SD wanted a tree in her room, or a small table top tree in her room, that would be fine. I think celebrating with special meals and gifts is a more meaningful cultural exchange.

For years, I was the only Jew in shared apartments with roommates who celebrated Christmas. They went full out with the trees and the decorating, and I celebrated my traditions in my own space...except when it came to latke baking night. Everyone loves a good latke and this was our cultural exchange. Point is, sure, it was my home too, but the prevailing culture was a Christmas celebrating culture and I didn't try to change the culture of the home to accommodate me. The SD moved into a Jewish home and it is unreasonable for her to change the fundamental culture of the home to enjoy her traditions.

My larger question is why on earth is your DH speculating about Christmas tree placement in July? That's just plain weird.[/quote]

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