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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]op here.  My husband was in Military for 23 years.  He has done many events (athletic), and I agree that he is trying to relive his life thru my child.  I have thought of leaving him.  And I have told him not to come to the events, be it sports or academic.  He gets very mad...but I will always defend my child.  I have told DS that his dad is the one with the problems.  Just nod your head yes and move on.  But it is hard to see a child so happy with what ever they have done, just to be lectured right after and watch all that happiness go away .  Pisses me off in the worst way!
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OP, my DH was also military (26 years), and has a particular athletic focus, but doesn't behave this way.  Is there something from your DH's active duty experience that might have affected him (such as deployments)?  The comment about him getting angry is the red flag for me - that's often an indicator that there have been things in his active duty experience that he hasn't dealt with.  You need counseling, either together or you individually.  [b]And when DH starts on his "not good enough" spiel, you need to step in and tell him to knock it off.[/b]  Period.  No discussion.  Good luck - I'm sorry you're having to deal with this.

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