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[quote=Anonymous]Hi op, I am a nurse who first started out working at a nursing home dealing with residents with dementia.  I was on the "dementia unit".   I am going to try not to make any assumptions about what's going On, but will say, PLEASE don't let your dad suffer because of issues between you and your sister.  We had a few heart breaking residents who had issues because the person at home wasn't able to properly care for them

1.   If your dad has mild dementia, hypothetically your dad could live with your sister provided a support system is put in place. Hiring a home health aide is a necessity.  There are also caregiving classes for those caring with dementia patients.  AARP and local senior centers should be able to provide info on this.  If your sister feels she cannot handle it, then she CANNOT handle it.  Often times taking care of someone with dementia is lIke taking care of a 2 year old who can have violent mood swings and is heavier and bigger than you are.  It's not easy when they are in a violent mood because they need to get cleaned up after having a poop and they have 80 pounds on you.  Not to mention the complicated aspect of role reversal.

2.  If your dad is past the point of mild dementia, option wasn't isn't an option.  It's just not possible.  Many PPs have given you excellent suggestions On how to help find funding for a nursing home

I'm sorry you are in this situation.  But think of what is best for your dad.   Dementia patients have surprising moments of complEte lucidity and clarity and my heart broke many times by how sad many of them were due to family situations.

Plus, the more stressed out and overwhelmed your sister gets, the more likely it is that Your dad could have an accident. [/quote]

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