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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - they asked to take the kids for a few days (which we LOVE obviously) and they're about an hour away.

If they'd told me in advance is probably have been okay with it?  I might have asked how long they knew the sitter and who it was - like is it a lifelong friend or some lady they heard about from a neighbor?

I'm sort of torn. I'm pretty careful about who I leave my kids with, but I get that they're a ton of work.   As an aside, they have a history of doing things I'm not sure I'm comfortable with. Like bringing a 2 year old home with sparkler burns or putting my tiny 7 year old in the front seat of a pickup without a booster. [/quote]

I would not have let them watch my kids ever after the booster thing.[/quote]

+1. Strike 3--they're out. I would not leave my children with them again.  Find another sitter that you can trust. [/quote]

Agree completely. Sparkler burns? Seriously? That would have been strike one and you're out, for me.

OP, I'm curious: What was the reasoning for letting the grandparents take them after the first two incidents (sparkler and booster seat)? Maybe you talked with them, explained how sparklers are utterly inappropriate, how the 7-year-old must be in a proper seat or doesn't go in the vehicle, etc. and they responded with contrition that they understand now and won't do those things again -- Is that how it worked out? If that's what happened, they likely are going to be baffled when you say, "I know you meant well and thought it was due diligence to get a sitter, but if DH and I don't know that sitter at all--we have an issue with it." In fact -- this is for your husband to say, NOT you. He has to deal with his own parents.

I think they probably are from a generation where car seats weren't used, sparklers were handed to toddlers, sitters were any vague acquaintance or next-door teen who was available. They might say "Next time we won't do it" but something else will come up. If you and your husband are not comfortable with the kids being left in their care after these THREE red flags, then don't leave your kids in their care. Your husband is going to have to figure out how he will tell them this, because they are otherwise OK (other than lack of common sense), right? I would not necessarily do a huge talk with them at all, but probably would just start making all visits family visits, no more overnights unless one of you is there and if they ask to "take the kids," reply, "That doesn't work for us, but DH will bring them this weekend and stay to visit with you." Whatever.

And before someone does the inevitable snarky DCUM post about how "WE grew up with no car seats and we used sparklers and had no sitters and WE survived it!" -- OP, you know that's right up there with "We didn't have seat belts back in the day and I lived!" Ignore it. Just stop leaving the kids totally in their care for any longer than an afternoon, when it's clear they will not drive the kids places or leave them with anyone else.[/quote]

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