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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would laugh loud and long every time they started that BS and then I would answer them facetiously.

Them:  What would you if Larlo got a B in a HS class?
Me:  Run him down with my car.

Them:  What instrument is Larla going to play?
Me:  The triangle.

Them:  How do you plan to become more involved in the children's schooling?
Me:  I am organizing the beer truck for the school picnic so I am very involved.[/quote]

This made me laugh. You sound fun, PP.

For OP, I'm not Asian and I have Asian in-laws. I hope your husband isn't the eldest son, for your sake, because this is just the tip of the iceberg. I think some PPs don't realize how different the boundaries (as in there are no boundaries) and ways of doing things are in the cultures. You will always be seen as stubborn and rebellious by them, because you don't do things their way, and they feel a deep responsibility to correct you and oversee the kids and make them successful. Just be pleasant about it and do your own thing. What I do a lot is play the cultural card. I say I do things the American way, and laugh and shrug. I do let them know we all want the kids to succeed, the family to succeed and be happy, etc. Try to remember that their ways are as natural and right to them as your ways are to you. Your big issues to work out are with your husband, so you can both understand and accept these differences and bridge them. [/quote]

Thank you for this excellent advice PP.

My husband is their eldest son, their "diamond" who is the most successful and fulfilled their Ivy League dreams first.  They do in fact perceive me as rebellious and stubborn because I've pushed back the most. If i hadn't gone to an Ivy League school myself they would doubtlessly hate and mistrust me, but since the kids are doing well and fulfilling all of my Inlaws' expectations (because those are my expectations too), I am given a little bit of leeway.

It is just frustrating that at one point my Inlaws will sit down and go through their expectations.  My husband thinks that since they live so far away and raised successful children we can suck it up. I'm fine with a little bit, but I don't appreciate my Inlaws emailing me articles on healthy organic lunches to feed my kids, ideas on what musical instruments the kids should play, school enrichment brochures etc.  I do feed my kids very well already, I know breastfeeding is supposedly better, and yes I get that kids probably do better with a stay at home mom. But I can't always do everything they want. I'm glad to know from other posters that this isn't even expected no matter how much they act like it is. [/quote]

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