Reply to So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?

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Reply to "So how hard is it really to be a single mother (by choice)?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I can tell you that it is hard.  Rewarding, ultimately, but hard.  I'm an accidental single mother - got pregnant with a guy I was dating, he dumped me and I kept the baby instead of terminating.  (Had I been 10 years younger, I would have terminated, but I was 36 - kind of a last-chance scenario.)

I make about $100K and the dad is in the picture, which is helpful.  He pays about $15K child support, which is very helpful.  I ended up moving closer-in to my job, which meant taking on a bigger mortgage.  That part is hard.  There's not much extra money at the end of the month, though I do save 15% of my income for retirement and another $3-$4k/year for college.

The two big downsides of being a single mom, besides money: (1) it is much harder to prioritize your career, so your income and job responsibilities can stagnate.  You're always rushing to and from work, and it can be very hard to put in a full 40-hour workweek with the child care hours you have.  (2) I find it much harder to date.  MUCH harder.  As in, I haven't had a relationship of longer than about a month since my daughter was born, and I had little trouble dating before.  There just isn't much time, there isn't much opportunity and it is hard to switch gears from being Mom to Sexy Interesting Creature to meet and date new men.

So if you do this, be aware that you may be choosing Child over Marriage.  Make sure you're ok with that.  There are exceptions, but in this area, most of the single moms I know have remained single, while most of the single dads I know have remarried or married.[/quote]

This is single mom 9:52 and I agree with this.  I've barely dated since adopting my child.  In a way it really is like choosing motherhood over marriage.  I may meet someone later - but I'm okay with my life if not.

I also agree that I'm constantly rushing and work does take a back seat at times.  Luckily I have a stable job that I've been at for a while. No, it is not that interesting or challenging for me any more and if I weren't a mother I'd probably look for something else.  But it works out so well in our life that I just can't leave this job right now.[/quote]

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