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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would have picked up the whole tab for my DH back when we were dating and he made a quarter of what I made (he was law student at the time, only made $ as a summer intern).

I don't get why people are in these weirdly unequal relationships and don't see fit to share[b] their largesse[/b] if they are the higher-earning member of the couple, unless they aren't serious and they don't want to sink more money than they absolutely have to into doing things with someone they aren't into. That's my guess for what's happening here. It's not like the guy is making $100K and the woman is making $80K. It's hugely unequal and it's a shared event (despite it being for her relatives). I'd definitely pay. That he wouldn't just offer to smacks of him not really committing to this relationship. [/quote]

It's not THEIR largesse. They aren't married. They aren't engaged.

It'd be swell if he offered to foot the whole bill but it's not reasonable to EXPECT him to pay for her out of town family wedding.
[/quote]

I agree it shouldn't be expected but all other things being equal (ie, they are both kind/good partners to one another) I would be peeved if my 500K bf let me pick up a 500 dollar hotel tab when he knew I was making peanuts.

It comes down to like, a statement on general character and generosity. OP shouldn't expect it and as others have said should pay for everything she would have paid for otherwise, but I would think twice about a BF who didn't offer to pick some of that up when they were coming from a place of such wealth. [/quote]

I'm a girl, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut if I were a dude and GF invites me to a wedding and expects me to pay, I would be peeved as well, and would think she was a gold digger.  Weddings are rarely fun.[/quote]

What kind of weddings do you go to? I love weddings!

But in all seriousness I think what you just described comes down to the type of relationship they have and the type that emerges when you're on such an uneven playing field. For them to eventually be a successful couple (if success is defined by marriage) he would have to stop thinking about it like that. And thats what I meant by it coming down to a statement on his general generosity. He understands when he goes on a trip like that that she is spending a lot and is probably depleting her resources. If he was a generous partner, he would pick up the hotel (which is a drop in the bucket for him it should be noted). If he doesn't pick it up, then to me he's sending a statement saying he thinks you might be a gold digger and is testing you. You have to decide if you're ok with that OP, I wouldn't be!

I would rather be with someone who acts like we're equals who is poor than someone super rich who holds the money over my head. The real issue here is the scope of the difference in wealth, 500k a year is big bucks. [/quote]

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