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[quote=Anonymous]NP here.  Yes, the wife was inconsiderate.  The way I look at it, you wouldn't treat a roommate staying in your house that way to just move their crap to another room and say now you have to stay in the basement.  You wouldn't even treat someone staying for free in your house that way ...you may not ask permission but you would have at least had a heads up/discussion.  You definitely shouldn't throw "well I paid for it" in someone's face after you behave outrageously.  It doesn't give you the right to be rude to someone.  So no, you aren't crazy.  I can't imagine treating my spouse that way.

That said the question always becomes,  so how do you deal with someone in a way that you stand up for yourself but don't antagonize the situation and make you look like the drama queen when someone is being unreasonable.  People are pointing out the guest room because that was the obvious choice that was available without putting you out but was less in your face than moving your desk to the same room where presumably it will be hard to actually get work done while you are in a standoff.  I don't know if you have kids (hoping not) but you can easily take the stand in the marriage and say no kids (if you planned to) until the control issues/communication is worked out.  You can work individually with a counselor on how to manage your wife's controlling tendencies.  At some point you may have to be willing to walk away if you can't live like this the next 20 years.  You should be taking a stand with the marriage itself, not by placing the desk next to hers.  Hopefukky if DW realizes how serious it is she will want to work on the issues too.

Good luck.[/quote]

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