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[quote=Anonymous]OP, you posted that you plan to leave so please update us with whether you did so or not. I didn't see the post until just now.

Have you ever turned on her and given her a face-on confrontation before, in other cases? I know that in the moment, with her jerking a waffle out of your hand, you likely were far too shocked to call her on it then and there, but I would also think that if she's THAT much of a nut, when you leave she is going to turn it all on you and make out to everyone that you are the drama queen and not her. Is she the type to paint herself as "I'm just caring about Daughter and want her to be healthy and it didn't happen like she said!" and to then paint you as the super-sensitive villain? If so -- she really does need what's called the "short sharp shock" of you telling her that she cannot take food from your hands because you are not two years old, and that she is not permitted to talk to you that way, ever, even in her own house; and if she is going to do so and treat you like a baby, you will act like an adult and remove yourself from her house. Don't just leave without letting her know why very directly, but do it as coldly and calmly as you can, because raising your voice or going on and on will only give her more ammo to say you're the crazy one.

Where is your sister in all this? Does she get on with mom well or does she also have issues with her? Would your sister be hurt if you left, or take mom's side, or whatever? I am NOT saying to put sister in the middle of this -- you need to tell mom why you're going, not get into a family-wide discussion of whether you should. But if your sister would be left with mom there and sister will end up listening to harangues about you for the entire rest of her vacation, and you and sister get along well, I would talk to sister and tell her what you are going to do. Not ask her advice whether to do it -- tell her, as a heads-up, and explain that you are not leaving in a drama-queen pique but to put some boundaries between you and mom.

If this is one of those "our family does this every year so it's expected" vacations -- time to start making your own nuclear family's traditions and be too busy next year to find time for this trip. Invite your sister's family somewhere that mom can't or won't go, frankly, or at a time mom can't make it. If there are redeeming qualities to mom (and yes, there could be) that mean you want to keep her in your life -- on your terms, not hers-- then be sure not to stay under any roof with her from now on, but only to see her at times and places where you can control it, and can leave more easily than you can from this situation.[/quote]

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