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[quote=Anonymous]I get where you are coming from OP because my family is like this. There are a few issues - first, your situation is not normal and it was a bad one and you know it. Along with the feelings of independence and pride come feelings of sadness, bitterness and shame.  You did claw your way to the up but along the way you watched plenty of others who had the love and support of family while you had virtually none.

Situations like the one you might be presented with soon bring those  feelings to the surface. You are bitter because when you needed help no one helped you so why the hell should you be bothered to help someone else like your IL's who seem to have had it easy?

Two very good reasons to do it -

Do you really want to repeat the same messed up way of family life that you had for your own kids?  Your kids should see you model that family is about taking care of each other in good and bad.   You don't have to freely give up all your money but help out if you can.

Accepting help in life is ok. It doesn't make you weak.  Teaching your kids this is invaluable and will make their lives better. If they see you freely help someone who has asked for help, they learn asking for help when they need it is ok.[/quote]

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