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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "DH's job hunt: help me not be an ass."
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[quote=Anonymous][quote] The resentment is not just about the money. It's about the fact that you've lost an equal partner, which previously was equal in terms of us both working to provide for our family, but could now be redefined as equal in terms of us contributing different things but both putting in equal effort. I think a lot of us are saying we could embrace the latter change, but for the unemployed spouse, they don't want to embrace this new reality - probably hoping that the new job will come quickly, so nothing else needs to change in the meantime. But that job doesn't come immediately and if the unemployed spouse doesn't up their contribution in other realms - like cooking, cleaning, and childcare, then what is their contribution to the family? That's where the resentment comes in. [/quote] This. It's the defaulted breadwinner effect. Read that thread. Nails it.[/quote]
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