Reply to Something bothering me about my mom's death.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I recently lost a relative who was a terrible, destructive person throughout his life. Like many people, I was horrified and revolted by him, and kept my distance from him.

Once he died, though, I felt an overwhelming conviction that he was genuinely sorry for what he'd done during his life and I've felt a connection to him that I've never felt before. He really wasn't responsible for his terrible actions - his parents had abused him so severely when he was a young child that by the time he reached the age of responsibility, he was simply not emotionally well enough to be held accountable. But the bad actions weren't really who he was.

All this is to say  that I feel sure that your mother hasn't just "left" you, and that she's with you still. I know this sounds ridiculous, but a few years ago I would have thought my experiences since my relative's passing were completely unlikely, too. [/quote]

If the thought that this person was sorry gives you closure then great. However, repentance after death is meaningless to the living.[/quote]

no, it's not. It means a great deal to me, and to other people who've experienced something similar. I mean this very kindly: you sound a bit silly when you presume to tell people what's meaningful and what's not meaningful to them.[/quote]

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