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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Going there for 1 week. Small town, not much to do.

Last visit was horrific - I posted about in on Dcum bc I was so upset with how in law behavior had bubbled over to me and I'd been awful with my kids (think - they tell me how bad my kids are, then DH gets in on how bad the kids are and it's my fault and then I shouted at kids for being "bad" when they truly weren't bad at all - just normal kids)

DH is hugely stressed about going - knows I am not enthused, but insisted I come along bc he thinks it's important I come along. Mil hasn't spoken to me in 6 months, unless I pick up the phone when she calls. I have tried to make sure she remains connected to our kids by texting her cute pictures and sending updates (maybe every 3 weeks). Dh talks to her daily.

She has caused major problems in the past and freely uses guilt - "I'm so alone and lonely now that you are so far away. You've forgotten about me. You don't love me." Very manipulative stuff, considering that she has a job she really enjoys that pays well, is still married to her husband, travels 4-5 times a year to exotic locations, and has another child.

So, going in to this, I'm feeling miserable and depressed that I have to use vacation days up for these people, and a little bit angry.

But I need (for myself and my own sanity) to make this week as happy as possible for me and my kids and even DH.
Help me figure out how to approach the week![/quote]

Schedule daily Skype conversations with good friends. Give your kids outlets as well, whether pre-planned outdoor activities or iPad stuff that will help them get away from the drama. Plan on having sex with DH at least twice during this trip, so that you two stay connected. It will help. Promise. Bring a book that lets you escape, preferably something about an evil queen who gets what's coming to her. :)  Pack clothes that you absolutely adore to wear as armor against nasty aggression. Bring her a gift, something undeniably sweet to disarm her and tilt things in your favor. Have the kids make a card or something to put them in her good graces. Have little videos on your phone to show and laugh about when tension builds. Try your best to be an outside observer. You can watch a dynamic at work without participating in it. Practice doing this.

Best of luck to you. Courage!
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