Reply to What to tell our kids to call my step-mother?

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Reply to "What to tell our kids to call my step-mother?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
[b]I didn't want my kid having anything to do with all of that, [/b]he doesn't need to carry any of the weight of someone else's crap relationship decisions. Thus we have no "step-uncles" or "step-grandpas" or anything like that, regardless of how close I feel with any of them or the remarried parents.. Even though our parents only remarried as we were adults so our step siblings never grew up with us or anything, they are still either "uncle", "aunt" etc.[/quote]
Exactly. Let the animosity end with the generation that was there, not future generations.[/quote]

I agree.  I can understand when adult kids cannot forgive the stepparent homewrecker, but when you have children, you have to grow up and teach your children better.  If you continue to hold this grudge to the point of not allowing your child to have an endearing name for the person, then you should be satisfied that you will help prevent this person from ever being able to have a caring relationship with your child and you will be the one who will deprive your children of an extra grandparental figure to love them.  Alternatively, you can leave the rift between the adults and let the child have a caring relationship with an extended grandparent.  Be aware that should you continue to let this fester to the point that you keep the grandfather's new wife at arm's length, you may also prevent your father from becoming a caring grandparent, too as you may make him feel distant and unwelcome as well.  That's a harsh thing to do to your children who won't understand why they don't get to see grandpa and his wife more often.  No one is asking you to forgive her and call her mother, but as the PP said so succinctly, let the animosity end with your generation and not continue into your children's generation.[/quote]

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