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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wow, angry much? Why are you so mad at me?  If you are so frustrated with me and my questions, the go away. Quit looking at this thread. No one is making you answer.

I'm genuinely curious as to how couple's get into this state. And the couples I mentioned are fighting and fighting a lot. [/quote]

NP here. You're on a soap box. The person responding to you made a great attempt at answering your question and you knock it down. PP did answer your question, and did a good job of it. It certainly resonated for me and what I've heard. Maybe you're not interested in understanding? Maybe you are just here to preen, to show off how wonderfully you manage issues and poo poo on those who are in a very different place?

I don't know, but your attitude is pretty awful. Try listening and engaging more constructively.

It's funny that you are now displaying some of the exact behavior that keeps couples from seeking help----you're not hearing what others are trying to say, not acknowledging a different perspective, ignoring insights, and being kinda bitchy on top of it.

Stawp.[/quote]

+1 from a NP
Check back in when your soap box wobbles and your footing isn't quite as steady as you thought.  I have kids so I hung on, trying to make things work.  My exH tried halfheartedly, but would bail as soon as he thought a therapist was taking "my side".  And as another poster put it, I was like a frog in a pot of water slowly coming to a boil.  It took me a long time to realize that I was the only one who wanted the marriage to work, and therefore the marriage would never work.

No one gets married and has kids thinking that they are going to divorce.  And most people try hard to make things work.  But marriage is for grown ups, and in my case, my ex didn't want to be a grown up any more.  So he's off and running and I'm now a single mom of three.  [/quote]

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