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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP back.  Thanks for the perspective.  I appreciate the reminder that I need to just suck it up and be gracious.

DH and I have spent years setting appropriate boundaries with MIL so this is particularly hard.  While we didn't ask if we could stay with her, we did accept her offer to do so while trying to sell our house.  She used to regularly show up at our house, unannounced, and let herself in without knocking.  She also used to show up at least once a week with dinner without being asked.  While the dinner thing sounds nice in theory, it begins to feel like she assumes DH and I can't feed our own family when she doesn't ask first.  When she overhears that we are doing something for friends who need help, she tries to take it over and help our friends for us (instead of us helping them - she tries to take over what we are doing to help people we care about).  Then she goes around telling everyone how much we need her and how important it is to us to have her nearby - not in a "wow, DH and DIL are so fortunate" way but in a "wow, I don't know what they'd do without me" way.

I realize the above may sound ungrateful, but she "helps" by doing what she wants, whether you ask for it or want it or not.  She doesn't respect it when you ask her not to do something.

So, I'll suck it up and pretend I'm staying with a kind and generous stranger and smile and say thank you to everything.  It will be over soon and I'm learning even more about how to allow my future in-law kids their own space as adults![/quote]

She feels there's a right way to do things. You disagree. That's life. [/quote]

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