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[quote=Anonymous]Well, the assumption that only women nag is silly, but the point that nagging and nitpicking is destructive is spot on. My husband literally cannot say anything without criticizing, nitpicking, or implying that things could be done better. He's the master of the backhanded compliment - something that is extremely difficult to call him out on.

A few years ago, I took a long hard look at my own behaviors and responses to his criticism. I made a decision to stop my own nitpicking and see how it went. My husband likes to load the dishwasher a certain way (what is it about the dishwasher that makes it such a flashpoint?), so I just shut up about it and let him do the dishes. Unfortunately, when he puts the clean dishes away in the cabinets, he kind of stuffs all the plastic containers and lids in there willy-nilly so that they fall on my head when I open the cupboard. I used to complain about that, but I stopped. I mean, he did the dishes so I didn't have to. That's pretty rad. I can reorganize and nest the tupperware to my heart's desire if it's important to me.

I used to complain when he would try to save money by doing home repairs himself and do them badly. I stopped bitching and making suggestions, and started listening and commiserating with his frustration. The outcome ends up being the same (he eventually decides to call an electrician) and there's a lot less drama.

All in all, I feel like my giving up nagging has given me more peace of mind and helped me be a more understanding person. Unfortunately, my husband has not yet experienced his own epiphany, and his nagging continues unabated. His world is an unhappy place indeed. But I no longer feel that I need to live there.

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