Reply to Puzzling "Stand Off" In Relationship (Not-Married)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]She outearns you by a "wide margin" with only a couple years ago difference.  Maybe she doesnt want to tie herself, financially, to someone who's not on her level. But maybe she's lonely and wants someone to chill with.

That's my guess.[/quote]

But if you were a good "catch" (which she is). Above average looks (I'd say 7.5/10, though I hate rankings crap), above average intelligence, and a huge income, why wouldn't you run out and look for your mate when you're still under 40? At 33, I don't really have the same priorities/concerns (esp. since kids aren't a priority of mine). It just baffles me. We may not be married, but I'm benefitting financially right now for sure. We live in her house and she pays the mortgage. [/quote]

oh, oh, oh.  Here it is, OP.  I hate to say it because DCUM will slaughter me, and I'm generalizing here.  Many women don't feel sexual with men that aren't at least at their level of bringing home the bacon.   You've got a situation where you are living in her house, and she's making more than you…it's just not sexy for many women.  They like to be taken care of this way, or at a minimum, at least not take care of you.  That kind of "taking care of" translates into maternal feelings, not sexual.

So before I get creamed here, just fyi I'm a feminist woman who went to Harvard Law.  My last bf was a wonderful guy, but a musician, and I had a big career and it just wasn't working for me to be with someone who slept in all the time and I paid for all the dinners.  My DH of almost 20 years is someone I met in law school, even though I swore I'd never marry a lawyer.  We just "get" each other.[/quote]

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