Reply to How long would you wait for a proposal?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So for the people who have strict prerequisites, i.e. "If must be married by xx years of age"[/quote]

I don't think having an age/date by which you get married is necessarily relevant.  You might get a good bit older before you yourself are really ready for marriage, and are therefore really ready - in the right mindset - to meet someone you do click with.

However, I do believe that [b]IF[/b] you believe you are someone who desires marriage (people say one thing to themselves and others, while their actions tell another story), then there is something going on - your actions belie your professed desires - if you haven't found a suitable partner by, say, your 40s (and that something is not the absence of viable/suitable partners).

Further, it's perfectly reasonable for a woman to say, "I need to be done having babies by 40 or 35 or whatever" and then work backwards from that and decide she really wants to find a suitable marriage partner by...30 or 28 or whatever.

[quote=Anonymous]...or "If you're not willing to propose before xx date then its over", I'm curious what the mindset is with regard to compatibility.[/quote]

I do subscribe to this "not willing to [talk about marriage] before XX [time has passed in the relationship]...then it's over".  I think that's true because I think you know the answer to the compatibility question by 6 months, and no longer than 12 months.  Whether you recognize or accept the answer, you know it.  You don't need 12 or 24 months of additional information to decide if you are compatible (you might be dense and need 12-24 months to figure out what you yourself really want, but that's not the same thing).

[quote=Anonymous]I mean if you're with someone who you click with is that irrelevant if they don't propose or make you a mom by in xx years?  Is there ever a point when your personal goals/expectations don't supersede the reality of having a comparable companion - which from what I understand isn't exactly easy these days?[/quote]

Well, your premise and question are fundamentally flawed: [b]IF[/b] you know you A) want to be married and/or B) want a family, and after a year or two, the other person isn't even talking to you about taking those steps, then are they really compatible?  The lack of conversation about taking those steps is in fact your answer: no, they aren't really compatible.  They don't have the same goals.  They might be compatible in other ways, but not in sharing those goals.  [/quote]

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