Reply to Guys... What makes you put s ring on it?

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[quote=Anonymous]It's not a matter of being a certain type of girl that a guy marries or not. It's a matter of whether or not you are the woman that he wants to marry. There were many men that I dated that did not want to marry me. DH in the beginning wasnt sure how he felt about me and took some time (8 months) to fall in love. But 2 months later we were talking marriage and 2 months after that it was decided yes, we wanted to marry each other. So we dated for just less than 2 years before we got married.

How did I "get him to marry me"? (I hate that phrase). 1) I told him that at 38, I would not spend forever dating and marriage was important 2) I did not live with him and would not unless engaged and planning a wedding 3) we were right for each other and 4) most importantly, he knew that I would walk. 
I loved him with all my heart. I knew he was the best guy I ever dated. I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I loved him, but I loved me more. I knew that I didn't want to be in limbo forever. So I was willing to walk.

Even after we had agree that engagement was going to happen. We had a date set for when I needed to be out of my apartment and we would be moving in together. He was dragging his feet. (He was divorced and marriage is scary). So while looking for a 2 bd for us, I kept looking for 1 bd for me. After weeks of no engagement, but still apartment hunting together. I told him, "If you aren't ready to get engaged and married that is fine. But you have to tell me soon (like Now), so I can find my own place (and showed him the list of places I would go see)."

If I was not the right woman, he would have not proposed. But I think, if I had let him, he would have dated me for a few more years before making a decision.

And I didn't want to be  like his first wife who is like so many women I know. They moved in together too soon. Then they got comfortable. Nothing really wrong with the relationship, but just werent right for each other. Then they were mid-30's and they'd been together for years. And she wanted to get married and he couldn't think of a reason why he shouldn't, so they did. In less than a year they were separated and soon divorced.

So the moral of the story is 1) be willing to walk away and 2) don't live together until engaged or married.
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