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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP again. I keep thinking and enjoying, but less fixation. But I am surprised how hard it can  be.
What attracts me? If you saw him, you would NOT say say "oh wow, yes." You'd say "oh, ok. Wait, which guy again?"
His body is decent, nothing spectacular (similar response as mine and my husbands)
[b]The fact is, he is a great listener and does so intensely....asks great follow-up questions, looks into my eyes as he listens, thoughtful. interesting ideas, attentive, Confident as he speaks, funny. Smart, curious. [/b]
He's married, sorta religious, likely would never cheat....and likely neither would I.  Too much loss for the thrill of an evening or 30. minutes (though fantasy minutes much more!)

These characteristics also describe my husband !Which is all too say,  my friend, dc urban mom. and my sister years ago (when it was my co worker) were correct: my fascination with another speaks to the disconnect with my own husband and our relationship. 
Thanks for helping me remember.....fantasy and fixation likely better when less within my own real world......

He's coming in July, that  possibility is stilll thrilling. But hopeful I will remember these thoughts. And will plan a meal of chili -- thanks!!@

[/quote]

This! This is what's dangerous, OP. Look, I fantasize about the occasional celebrity, but fantasizing about a real-life man who has attributes you desire and with whom you have contact can be bad news. I recommend boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

When women are attracted to someone beyond the physical, I think it's usually a pretty solid indicator that something is going on in the marriage. Maybe you're not miserable and your spouse is still a great guy, but some kind of need is not being met, and it's time to put the relationship under a microscope.

Good luck, OP. It sounds like you've got a grip on reality.
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