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[quote=Anonymous]Op, I remember your post from last time and I posted to you about my situation, but I think the thing you keep ignoring is like the other poster mentioned - your dad was grooming you.  Luckily, you were aware enough to hold firm and stop him, but you knew (subconsciously) that it wasn't normal touch.

Who's to say that your dad didn't start "grooming" your daughter while she was visiting?  Touches that were subtle enough that she questions her own feelings about them and she vacillates between not wanting to see him, but...just like you...everything else is great and she loves them.  How can a little girl reconcile that in her head?  Even small kids know instinctively that if she says something, there will be a domino effect and it'll be all her fault.  Think about it from her perspective.

Just imagine if your dad just placed his hand...rested his hand too close to a private area.  Casually, and acted like it was nothing.  She feels awful about it.  It's very uncomfortable for her, yet her grandpa, the man she loves (and knows her mom loves) is acting like that's normal.  But it doesn't feel normal.  So she just sits there frozen and doesn't say anything.  And that's it.  Nothing else happened.  the movie ended, or the discussion ended and everyone gets up to do something else.

now can you see why maybe when they were coming she slipped up and said "I don't want to see grandpa"  and then he came anyway and everyone acted normal, so she did too.  And buries that uncomfortable feeling further down.

Maybe now you can understand where she's coming from?  He's starting to groom her and she may not be as strong as you were, or as old, or something - it may go further, or it may not.  But whatever you do, please keep in mind that it doesn't have to be all or nothing - it could be these "grooming" techniques that your daughter may not understand.[/quote]

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