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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My faith is strongest in my darkest hours. [/quote]

"The flower that blooms in adversity is the most beautiful and rare of all." Can't remember when I first encountered this, but it has followed me throughout the years.

For me, I grapple with the lesson. What am I to learn from this, Lord? Faith itself is good medicine. "Be still and know that I am God" is a difficult meditation, one I've struggled with over the years because despite appearances, I am a very typical Type-A, multitasking, self-reliant monster to myself. Stepping back from situations in which I have little to no control and trusting in my deeply-seated faith has been my most important effort over the last few years.

Why did my husband become so angry and mean to me? Even after the divorce, how can he turn his back on the children he ardently wanted?
I put in so much effort to become highly-qualified in my field. How is it that employment has been so incredibly illusive?

[b]Faith. It's what you're left with when nothing makes sense[/b].

[/quote] Which, frankly, sounds pretty useless.  Better to say, "it doesn't make sense" and try your best to do something for yourself that DOES make sense, instead of sitting back to see what "god" throws at you next.[/quote]

Maybe I did a poor job of explaining. I don't usually discuss my personal beliefs, so I'll try again.

It doesn't mean that I'm off the hook and don't need to find a way or put in the work. Faith adds value to my efforts. It's not the same as confidence or optimism. I feel comforted by my faith as I make my way through troubles. I practice gratitude to honor my faith, in good and bad times. My parent's died one after the other a month apart. Well, how do you even make sense of that emotionally? It broke my heart. Because I practice my faith, I was able to stand before the congregation and thank god for giving me THESE parents to lose. They were marvelous loving people and I was lucky to have them for as long as I did. Faith allowed me to wake up in the morning and not immediately fall into despair. Faith helped me see my responsibilities to children as an opportunity to express gratitude through lovingly caring for them. And I'm a single mom. Everything fell apart for me, much as the OP states. There is no guarantee that the efforts you put in will bear fruit, so it's faith that keeps me going. Protracted unemployment? Sure, you put in the work of networking and resume building throughout a serious job search, but you also hold onto faith that things will turn out well. I really don't understand a life without faith.

I guess, now that you have me thinking about it, faith for me is not feeling alone or unloved, unsupported, even when I have every rational reason to feel so.

I have built a beautiful life despite the angry marriage, the burdens of single motherhood, the violent loss of my parents, and a nearly unbearable period of unemployment. I am a highly-resilient person. Faith is a part of that. It has been far from "useless."
[/quote]

It sounds like what you are calling faith (in God, I presume) I would call hope, optimism and determination.  Perhaps it's just a personality thing.  It wouldn't help me to percieve that a supernatural being was by my side.  It would help me to know that I can use  hope, optimism and determination, to get through tough times. [/quote]

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